Noah's personal 'lazydog'
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Spirited Babies Part I
Just a few posts to explain our little guy :) It's always challenging to describe what high needs/spirited means (since the two terms are pretty recent) but I thought the blog was a great way to do it! This might take a few posts :)
We had absolutely no idea what 'high needs' was and had never heard the term until we were blessed with our little man. He initially had colic and reflux, but when he turned 5 months and he was still challenging, I did some research (of course :) It was SUCH a relief for us to find that we are not alone...approximately 10% of all babies are born with a 'high needs/spirited/active alert' temperament. Some famous examples include Robin Williams (no surprise there), Franklin Roosevelt and other inventors and leaders.
We discovered a fabulous book written by a well known doctor (Dr Sears for my pregnant friends...highly recommend all of his books! It was so strange to open a book and find that Noah fit all of the characteristics...it's like the book was written just about him! (although thankfully he is not the only one!) Dr. Sears ( the Dr.Spock of our generation) has 8 children, one of which they discovered was high needs. Throughout the book, they repeatedly emphasize that 'high needs' is innate and part of their temperament, and that they too, questioned their parenting practices even though they had 7 other non high needs children.
Below is a summary of what Dr.Sears and his wife found to be common characteristics of high needs children...not only in their practice but also in their child (you can read the full version here:
1. Intense: You can often spot high need babies already in the hospital nursery. While other infants may lie contentedly in the bassinet, these babies protest group care and with their high intensity cries demand to be taken immediately to a private room with a private nurse -- their mother. The cry of a high need baby is not a mere request, it's an urgent demand. These babies put more energy into everything they do. They cry loudly, feed voraciously, laugh with gusto, and protest more forcefully if their needs are not met to their satisfaction. Because they feel so deeply, they react more powerfully if their feelings are disturbed. Intense babies become intense toddlers, characterized by one word --"driven." They seem to be in high gear all the time. Their drive to explore and experiment with everything in reach leaves no household item safe. [We have heard that the toddler phase for spirited babies is much more challenging...yikes!]
2. Hyperactive: This feature of high need babies, and its cousin hypertonic, are directly related to the quality of intensity. Hypertonic refers to muscles that are frequently tensed and ready to go, tight and waiting to explode into action. The muscles and mind of high need children are seldom relaxed or still. [This was evident from the moment he was born! And now he is always the loudest and most active baby in the classes we take him to :-)]
These babies stiffen their limbs and arch their backs when you try to hold them, and they are frequently seen doing back dives in your lap, turning breastfeeding into a gymnastic event. [Oh yeah...grandma can attest to this one :) ]
3. Draining: High need babies extract every bit of energy from tired parents -- and then want more. Babies take the fuel they need from you without considering whether they leave anything behind in mother's gas tank. The seemingly constant holding, nursing, and comforting leave little energy left over for your needs. [ I am actually looking forward to working again...for obvious reasons, but also because I will be able to take breaks! :-) ]
4. Feeds Frequently: Not only do high need babies breastfeed more frequently, the need for breastfeeding lasts longer. These babies are notoriously slow to wean. They realize that they have a good thing going and it would be foolish to give it up quickly. It is not unusual for high need babies to breastfeed at least two years. [I'm hoping Noah is the exception here, due to his allergies and my subsequent restrictive diet ;-)]
5. Demanding: Being demanding is the trait of high need children that is most likely to drive parents bananas, but it is also the trait that drives children to succeed and excel. A high need child with a corresponding demanding personality will, if nurtured and channeled appropriately during the formative years, exhaust teachers as she did her parents; yet she will also be able to extract from adult resources, such as teachers, the level of help and education she will need to thrive in academic and social endeavors.
We had absolutely no idea what 'high needs' was and had never heard the term until we were blessed with our little man. He initially had colic and reflux, but when he turned 5 months and he was still challenging, I did some research (of course :) It was SUCH a relief for us to find that we are not alone...approximately 10% of all babies are born with a 'high needs/spirited/active alert' temperament. Some famous examples include Robin Williams (no surprise there), Franklin Roosevelt and other inventors and leaders.
We discovered a fabulous book written by a well known doctor (Dr Sears for my pregnant friends...highly recommend all of his books! It was so strange to open a book and find that Noah fit all of the characteristics...it's like the book was written just about him! (although thankfully he is not the only one!) Dr. Sears ( the Dr.Spock of our generation) has 8 children, one of which they discovered was high needs. Throughout the book, they repeatedly emphasize that 'high needs' is innate and part of their temperament, and that they too, questioned their parenting practices even though they had 7 other non high needs children.
Below is a summary of what Dr.Sears and his wife found to be common characteristics of high needs children...not only in their practice but also in their child (you can read the full version here:
1. Intense: You can often spot high need babies already in the hospital nursery. While other infants may lie contentedly in the bassinet, these babies protest group care and with their high intensity cries demand to be taken immediately to a private room with a private nurse -- their mother. The cry of a high need baby is not a mere request, it's an urgent demand. These babies put more energy into everything they do. They cry loudly, feed voraciously, laugh with gusto, and protest more forcefully if their needs are not met to their satisfaction. Because they feel so deeply, they react more powerfully if their feelings are disturbed. Intense babies become intense toddlers, characterized by one word --"driven." They seem to be in high gear all the time. Their drive to explore and experiment with everything in reach leaves no household item safe. [We have heard that the toddler phase for spirited babies is much more challenging...yikes!]
2. Hyperactive: This feature of high need babies, and its cousin hypertonic, are directly related to the quality of intensity. Hypertonic refers to muscles that are frequently tensed and ready to go, tight and waiting to explode into action. The muscles and mind of high need children are seldom relaxed or still. [This was evident from the moment he was born! And now he is always the loudest and most active baby in the classes we take him to :-)]
These babies stiffen their limbs and arch their backs when you try to hold them, and they are frequently seen doing back dives in your lap, turning breastfeeding into a gymnastic event. [Oh yeah...grandma can attest to this one :) ]
3. Draining: High need babies extract every bit of energy from tired parents -- and then want more. Babies take the fuel they need from you without considering whether they leave anything behind in mother's gas tank. The seemingly constant holding, nursing, and comforting leave little energy left over for your needs. [ I am actually looking forward to working again...for obvious reasons, but also because I will be able to take breaks! :-) ]
4. Feeds Frequently: Not only do high need babies breastfeed more frequently, the need for breastfeeding lasts longer. These babies are notoriously slow to wean. They realize that they have a good thing going and it would be foolish to give it up quickly. It is not unusual for high need babies to breastfeed at least two years. [I'm hoping Noah is the exception here, due to his allergies and my subsequent restrictive diet ;-)]
5. Demanding: Being demanding is the trait of high need children that is most likely to drive parents bananas, but it is also the trait that drives children to succeed and excel. A high need child with a corresponding demanding personality will, if nurtured and channeled appropriately during the formative years, exhaust teachers as she did her parents; yet she will also be able to extract from adult resources, such as teachers, the level of help and education she will need to thrive in academic and social endeavors.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Noah's first trip to the zoo
The butterflies were a big hit!
I've just about caught one...come here butterfly
Success!!
That's so silly Bumpa!
Sure, I'll smile at the stranger
Blowing raspberries at the butterflies
I've just about caught one...come here butterfly Success!! That's so silly Bumpa! Sure, I'll smile at the stranger Blowing raspberries at the butterflies
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
